Monday, December 26, 2005

Consumer Reports = Useless

While trying to research vacuum cleaners I purchased a subscription to It was a waste for five dollars. Here is the letter that I wrote to them:

I am extremely disappointed with your website and the complete lack of value that I received from paying $4.95 to your company. I was shopping for a vacuum cleaner, however instead of giving me information so that I could make my own, hopefully informed, decision your website tried to tell me what I should be looking for in a Vacuum! This is completely backwards! You are supposed to give me information so that I can form opinions. Not instruct me on what is important, and then give me your opinions. I am extremely angry, your website is deceptive, uninformative, and a ripoff.

If you want to see what a real product review looks like I suggest the (free) digital camera review web site

I was hoping that you would provide me with that type of information about vacuum cleaners. I was sorely disappointed. Let me be specific, you _supposedly_ measured the decibel output of various vacuum cleaners, instead of listing your measurements you list the "noise" on a scale with five choices from Excellent to Poor! How can I believe that you made any measurements if you don't give me the measurements that I am paying for, and don't tell me the conditions under which the measurements were made. You must tell your clients what the results of your noise test were, in decibels, so that they can form their own opinions about weather the noise level of a particular vacuum cleaner are excellent or poor.

Every single one of your ratings were presented in an equally obtuse manner: with out facts, or testing information. I have no reason to trust your opinions. The motivation of your corporation is clearly to make money, not help consumers. I am simply astonished by your audacity at trying to sell undocumented corporate opinions! You misrepresented your website and the information that I would find inside it; please refund my money and cancel my subscription.

Vacuum Facts = Elusive

I have been trying to find information about vacuum cleaners, Gretchen and I need a new one. And have found almost no factual information.

For example if I want information about a digital camera I'd go to Phil Askey has created in depth reviews and his testing methods and the results are clearly documented. He does include his opinion at the end of the review, but readers are encouraged to make their own decisions.

I would expect that at least some websites would have measurements on the decibel level of noise that various vacuum cleaners make... nothing.

If you know of a site that has information please let me know.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Posthumous Conception = Not Necessarily A Zombie

If notice is not received that the decedents genetic material was available for the purpose of posthumous conception within four months of the decedents death (In writing, certified mail, return receipt requested.) Death benefits should be paid as if the child of the deceased conceived after the death of the decedent had predeceased the decedent.

- And I thought pirates were nasty...

Monday, February 28, 2005

Excuses, Excuses.

The ship is in for repairs. I may not be bloging for a time while I concentrate on fixin me house. I pledge a photo journal update when I blog again. Toodles.

Monday, February 21, 2005

New song bird makes parrot sound like a four pack a day habit.

My step grandmother Flo (aka: Crazy Lady) has been suffering the slow degrading death of dementia. She can still get out a coherent sentence or two in the mornings, but by evening she isn't capable of speech. Her caretaker Marjorie is truly an excellent: Mad props!

the point of my lollygagging is that I am in possession of her stereo, it's a McIntosh (2100amp, preamp, and tuner), with an NHT speaker system (Super Zero & Powered Sub). It sounds very good. (Understatement) I also have the privilege of holding in trust a mildly impressive collection of classical music, about 300 CD's ish, collected by her late husband Anthony. Upon Anthony's death I was given his University of Illinois class ring, I wore it for many years, until I developed a mild rash. I hope it's not an allergy to gold - that would be silly - but it might be. I really hope it's not Anthony's ghost disapproving of the way I live my life. It would suck to have a ghost hate me, my saber is useless against ghosts. Believe me I know...

Good night for now...

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Swab the lack of deck!

The tile isn't finished, the swabbies are refusing to scrub the lack of deck. I found out last night that laying tile is more difficult than the brain washed idiots at Home Despot led me to believe. I go now to continue this noble work, there is no time to swashbuckle, or drink me Grog for that matter.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Weapons of Mass Wallet Devistation

The Card got out of the safe! I was not used for its intended purpose, and instead of being protection, security and peace of mind, it has ravaged another chunk of the inheritance I will some day provide to humanity.

Cold Stone Ice Cream = $5.28
Two Domain Transfers & 1 Year Extension = $16.40
DSC-F828 Macro Lens Set = $38.45

Paying MasterCard back instantly online so I suffer no interest charges; priceless.

The Great Vehicle Itself (my car) is fixed! The right rear control arm replacement went very well after the old control arm finally came off. The suspension bolts that go through metal sleeves in the bushings are really nearly impossible to remove after 140,000 miles. It took four days of working on the car, and many trips to the hardware store for tools before they even budged. While it took less than 4 hours to prepare and reinstall the new arm. The car runs really well and I haven't gotten an alignment yet. Unfortunately something isn't quite right either the ball joint on the replacement (used) control arm is excessively worn, or the tire rim was damaged and not quite round. Cause it's making a bit of a lump, lump sound when I sail. This will be investigated next time I'm in to port.

The good news is that with the ship sea worthy I can check my e-mail, and write in my log book more often! Yea! (To date it's been seven days since last I seen land.)

Night all.

Parting Shot: Fidgeting Helps Separate the Lean From the Obese

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Nine days!

Nine days since the last entry, that is too long. But, that is what happens when one does not have internet access sometimes.

What have I been doing? Lots! Nothing exceedingly memorable, however. Gretchen and I are thinking about going on a cruse in the Caribbean for a vacation this May. I requested off for Shibaricon. I went sledding and was captured on the news, amazing that they were able to film it on account of my sled going so fast. But those corsairs’ corsairs over at the news can Pan and Tilt like you wouldn't believe. Dad is in town. Please don't judge him by this, but here it is anyway: - I have his permission to put those pictures up. Besides it's his web site, he can take them down with a slash from his sword (AKA: FTP client).

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Must Finish Kitchen...

I have nothing interesting to write, so how about a bit of boring ness.

This weekend was filled with the usual, plus Kitchen tile laying +2. That and I've begun the rewiring of the upstairs bedrooms. The electrical wiring in the house is really a mess; it’s going to take a lot of work to fix it.

Stay warm,

Must Finish Kitchen...

I have nothing interesting to write, so how about a bit of boring ness.

This weekend was filled with the usual, plus Kitchen tile laying +2. That and I've begun the rewiring of the upstairs bedrooms. The electrical wiring in the house is really a mess; it’s going to take a lot of work to fix it.

Stay warm,

Thursday, January 13, 2005


Ha Ha - No work for this pirate today (At least not in the modern sense), the hook demands it.

I cleaned: Basement, Hook, Dishes, Clothes, Decks. That and some orginizing of the computer, and fulfilling of promises made.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

current mood: calm
current music: Coolio - Fantastic Voyage (timber mix)

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Land Ho!

Another awesome handle time day at work, down to 10:40ish. Pretty Sweet.
There is however very little else I remember about this day.

Mike helped me out by letting me use some of his hosting, so my website is back up: His hosting provider is awesome. The tools that they give you are really powerful. I found the user interface lacking in context, and so it was frustrating; however the service is exellent. If I ever have to part ways with sharing the service that Mike alreay has I will probably go with them.

And hey isn't it cool! My friends commented on what I wrote. Thank you my peeps. I don't know how you find time to do that, but it rocks.

PS: There is nothing suprising about the ocean running out, land isn't a word we need to shout.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Money on my mind.

I want a house!!!!! I'm living in a nice house, and I'm paying for it. But it's not mine. This is an important difference. So how do I get a house? (Perferably a fixer-up-er) Well acording to some mortage calculatos I've tried out, I could buy a house costing about 70k right now. Maybe a benevolent third party (Parents?) will help me with the 30-50K that I supposidly can't afford. I think that my income potential is good, it would just take an inordinant amount of time to pay a third party back; which is why they would have to be benevolent.

Hmm, I suppose I should start finding some real numbers. I will go to the bank tomorow and see if I can talk to a lender about what I can afford, and what I can't.

See typing the problems always makes a solution, and lifts me spirits. Arrgh Matey! Don't let you sails luff.

you fight like a milkmaid
you spell like a walrus
Both of you swim like my car.
How appropriate, you fight like a cow
I am rubber you are glue.
I'll skewer you like a sow at a buffet
What if glue hits rubber? For example what if I were to body slam you?
only one way to find out!
I would die
Would there be a bounce and a squish, or whould it be more of a splat?

Monday, January 10, 2005

Arrgh! Matey,

There be wings on me back today I'm flying high. I do customer service for life insurance, and I was kickin those whiney bereaved beneficiarys off the line with a quickness. I think my AHT (That's Average Handle Time, for those of you not in the know...) was about 11:00 minutes. A full 40 seconds below my goal. But hear I am being distracted and my to do list grows.

I have Friends! mlitiagrl & defaultlisa

I go now to Tile and Sleep on Couch!

current mood: accomplished
current music: Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch